Warning: Weirdness and personal details contained within. Mostly weirdness. You've been warned.

Monday, July 11, 2005

on being sick

I had an epiphany the other day, while having my third shower of the day. I realized that being sick is a lot like being old. I'm tired and grumpy, my eyes are dimming, my hearing is going, my voice is going, I have trouble sleeping, I wheeze and cough a lot, and I can't walk straight because my equilibrium is off. Oh wait, that last one is for drunk, not old. Close enough.


  • At 8:01 a.m., Anonymous a wise man once said…

    It's easier to be old if you're drunk.

  • At 1:07 p.m., Blogger Amy said…

    Yeah, I've noticed that too.

  • At 1:08 p.m., Blogger Amy said…

    By the way, what happened to the peanut gallery? Was it something I said? They way I smell? I can change!

  • At 3:57 p.m., Blogger Gilly said…

    I guess it's not fun for them anymore.. either that or they started up their own blog page and just not telling us.

  • At 4:43 p.m., Anonymous Lincoln said…

    As at least half of the peanut gallery, I think the reason is that we don't want to bother you when you're not well. Recent posts have dealt with your illness, and get well wishes aren't really our style.

    That and the fact that we try and impress you by insulting each other and making up lies about ourselves (see: Hema being major league). It doesn't seem right when you're under the weather to turn your blog into our normal everyday pissing contest.

    Second opinion, Hema?

    As if I would start a blog and not make sure you know about where you could read my gospel....I mean opinion.

  • At 5:05 p.m., Blogger Amy said…

    You're not supposed to stay away when I'm sick, you're supposed to make me better by amusing me. I still have a sense of humour.

    Besides, sick people only exist to be made fun of. Kind of like old people, or celebrities.

  • At 6:50 p.m., Anonymous Hema said…

    First, let me say, and as you are all well aware, I rule.

    Secondly, I don't partake in "pissing contests" as I perceive them as being juvenile and pointless, considering I can piss farther than anyone else. I have been asked to be starter in the upcoming Major League Pissing All-Star game. I am considering it only if “This One Counts.”

    Finally, I have recently emailed said Amy and have not received a reply.

    “I know when I've been insulted! I know when I've been insulted!”

  • At 8:10 a.m., Anonymous Lincoln said…

    HA HA !!!

    Hema......rules.....(wiping away tears)....ohh, that is golden.

    If that doesn't cheer you up and make you laugh, nothing will.

    Hema, you are the height of too muchery.

    Your serve.

  • At 11:40 a.m., Anonymous lincoln said…

    P.S. Did anybody see Letterman last night? It was a repeat of a show from about a month ago. J-Lo was the guest and he was showing pictures of her in a magazine while interviewing her. Then he started READING the magazine. She just sat there stunned while he was reading, ignoring her.

    Magnificent Bastard doesn't begin to describe it.

    Also, if it's comedy you're looking for, you should cruise over to Gil's blog and look for where Hema wrote "pee pee" and "bum bum"

  • At 1:58 p.m., Blogger Amy said…

    Apologies to Hema who rules, I'm an ass. I shall reply now.

  • At 5:25 p.m., Anonymous He who rules said…

    Shall I get you some Solarcaine for that burn Lincoln?

    Can't argue with the mistress of the blog!

  • At 8:12 a.m., Anonymous lincoln said…

    That was a burn? I was saying "I rule" on this blog 2 months ago, you start copying me (again) and that's supposed to be a burn.

    Amy placating (look it up) you and your wounded ego because you didn't get an e-mail is a burn on me????

    You know what? From now on you don't have to reply to any of my e-mails (which you don't really anyway--and Merv's the unreliable one?) I'll just wtrite at the bottom "_______ blows" for you.

    That'll save you the 2 hours it takes to come up with your witty responses.

  • At 11:41 a.m., Anonymous Hema said…

    Why would I look up placating; I go to Brandon University. Or did you just want me to see the illustration of you sucking my "pee-pee"?

    Speaking of edumacation...there is no w in the word trite. I'll assume you were trying to be clever, instead of one of your banal keystroke errors.

    As for the burn...Amy likes me better, deal with it.

    I don't reply to your emails because I know it annoys you, as you've just let the Amy's Blog reading world know.

    Maybe I should just ignore you for a long time, shroud myself in mystery, and reveal all my witty responses on a preset date where all my friends can revel in both the shocking new information and in my heroic ability to keep it all to myself for so long.

    No, that would be the wankers option...

  • At 12:25 p.m., Anonymous Lincoln said…

    Plus you'd be copying me...........AGAIN.

    Yes, you go to Brandon University, home of the $0.99 value meal.

    I suggest that we compete in an excruciatingly long (30+) series of competitions at BATB, and then Amy can decide who she likes best based on me crushing you at those events.

    I haven't had to wait for responses to my e-mails, so I'm already up 1-0.

  • At 3:11 p.m., Anonymous Hema said…

    I only have to win one "excruciatingly long" competition to win over Amy. So win 29-1, see if I care, Stumpy.

    Oh and don't expect a reply to anything tomorrow as the Summer of Hema will be in full swing.

  • At 4:41 p.m., Anonymous lincoln said…

    Pretty much everything about you is excruciating.

  • At 11:20 a.m., Blogger Amy said…

    That was a good one.


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