Warning: Weirdness and personal details contained within. Mostly weirdness. You've been warned.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Singing the blues (aka Boo Hoo Hoo Poor Me)

I'm a bad person. I skipped choir last night, along with the carol festival performance afterwards. But I think my reasons were good - I didn't eat enough during the day (this trying to use up food thing has its drawbacks), had a long cold wait for the bus after work and a harrowing experience trying to walk the half block from the bus stop and up the un-shovelled walk where I stepped in both the obvious tripping holes between stupidly placed boardwalks, and didn't have enough time to practice singing for my lesson today (after putting it off most days for the past week).

I was in tears at the thought of either: walking the half block to my car, cleaning the snow off, driving through the hazardous traffic/road conditions, parking a block or two away (or more, with the carol festival across the street from the practice location), and walking through the snow; or paying for a cab to and from, after I'm already paying far more than I wanted to for this choir that I hate. Screw it. If I'm that upset, and since nobody would miss me anyways, why go?

Oh, and I've identified the awful smell that emanates from the lady beside me - it's stale poop. Not like she missed the toilet, more like permeation from having pooped 6 months ago, set the bucket outside for the summer so it would mellow, then having brought it in for the winter. I doubt that's what happened, but that's what it smells like. She smells like well-cured MANure.

And then I skipped tonight's choir as well. I'm starting to have serious issues about getting around in winter. I need a chauffeur, one that will carry me up stairs and over any kind of slippery snow-covered surface. Added to the traumaticality of hating the cold (I'm usually in tears after waiting for the bus), it just doesn't seem worth it to try to be anywhere I don't absolutely have to be.

Tonight was along the same lines as last night, I was outside for 40 minutes walking (hobbling) to and waiting for the bus, and then took a cab home which cost me all the cash I had, and since that ran late I only had half an hour to find food, eat, get dressed, clean off my car, and get to choir. So I didn't. Plus it was going to be at the same packed location, so I'd park the same couple blocks away and have to walk, freaking about the possible/probable demise of my knees at every step. I wouldn't mind being a cripple so much if it didn't bloody hurt.

Hmm, that was way too much information, wasn't it? You're welcome.


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